Everything I Never Told You

Book Club #14.
Lesson: Parenting is hard.

About the Book:

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

Summary: 

A mixed race family of five live a seemingly normal life until the star middle child is found dead. The story jumps back and forth between history and present-day, between thoughts and experiences of each family member, and reveals many attitudes, perspectives, and misunderstandings. Each family member must come to terms with the reality of the death of Lydia and the realization that they may not have truly known and understood her.

Characters:

• Lydia Lee
• Marilyn Lee - mother
• James Lee - father
• Nathan Lee - older brother
• Hannah Lee - little sister
• Jack

Questions:

1. Lydia often went to great lengths to please her parents. Do you remember some of the things you did to meet your parents' expectations?

2. Do you think Hannah's experience as the invisible youngest sibling is typical? Why or why not?

3. Do you think that Lydia ultimately committed suicide or was it an accident?

4. Do you think the things the characters in the book would have wanted to say the things that were left unsaid?

5. Which character(s) did you most relate to?
6. Did you like the structure of jumping back and forth in time? Were you able to keep up?
7. Many characters seemed to be misunderstood by friends, neighbors and family members. Were there times in your life where people have a very misguided impression of you or where you misunderstood someone else?

8. Parents often see themselves in their children and place their own hopes and fears on them. How was this done in the book? Were there things your parents said/did that spoke more to their attitudes/interests versus your personal interests?

9. Lydia seemed to be viewed as the star child in the family - there is often debate about how to motivate children and how much attention and focus should be placed on children and academic success. Any thoughts or future plans on how to deal with these issues if you are a parent?

Conversation Summary:

Discussion topics:

• Book structure, audio/physical book
• Relating to difference characters
• Struggles/differences in mixed culture relationships
• Family pressure and expectations
• Parenting - what is the best way to raise children, academic pressure, parents trying to make up for personal mistakes/goals
• Character success
• Differences between siblings
• How did Lydia die, purpose/accidental

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